Mcswareck's (was STUCK)
by madisondanes
Summary: this is a collection of one - shots, that may or may not be connected together. it's going to be AU from season 4 to post series. and it might be OOC...if its not your cake then move along.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: this is for my entertainment. I don't own RB, other ways TC would have been fired a long time ago! Yes I went there.

A.N.: first time writing RB fics. Possibly the last too lol. As I am not English, nor American, but Italian, you might find some grammatical mistakes. If you do let me know in the review, as I usually find them after I already uploaded the story.

as I hated what they(you who i am talking about!) did with Andy's character from s4 to s6, who resembled a carpet, in my opinion, I am taking matters into my own hands since it was driving me crazy.

This is AU from the moment Sam tells her in the cruiser about M's pregnancy (that was great writing #sarcasm), and frankly this is OOC because as I said in the summary Sam finds his balls, the pair of them, puts them on and actually behaves like Man while Andy realizes she's got a spine and she uses it. Who knew?

Because, in real life who would be ok with this? Not me.

So without further ado I give you this monster. This is something that I would have liked hear Andy say. That's all.

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Women have a sixth sense for what is coming. She knew that going back to work after an heavenly vacation would bring changes. And if she could stay like this forever, in this bed, with Sam snoring next to her, would be great. But life had to continue so she resigned herself to the drive back home, and to a routine that really wasn't.

And the night after the attack in Tracey's apartment, she was restless. Almost like spasm on her back that couldn't leave her alone. She was anxious. And she didn't know why but for some reason, arrived at the apartment, she just couldn't sleep. Sam had been off also. She chucked it up to the attack. Kind of sobering thing to happen, when one is still lost in the bubble of an epic relationship.

Of course she should've known better. Trust your instinct and you'll never be wrong. Only she wished she was wrong now.

Marlo is pregnant. With Sam's baby.

What kind of a sick, sarcastic, bastard, cruel, son of a bitch could cook this up. I mean, if she told strangers what had happened to her in the last four years, they wouldn't believe it. She felt like she was stuck on some sort of parallel universe for which there was no escape.

And in reality she hated being stuck. She just couldn't cope with it. So she had bolted from the cruiser, and if she just could make the next ten seconds without telling Sam what she thought, everything would be fine. But , Sam, darling naïve Sam, he really thought that she would be able to listen right now. You don't spring this on a person, not someone that you are dating. Not now, not ever. So if she could just forget the fact that there was now a pregnancy, if she could forget why she was in this situation in the first place… oh right, she was in Love with Sam Swareck and that was that. God knows she tried to run from him, move on, date somebody else ( yeah, because that went well!). But nothing really stuck. Just Sam.

But she couldn't accept this as her new life, new reality. She refused to acknowledge that, while she was walking quickly toward the parking lot. Tracey, wonderful friend that she was, didn't say anything, but just hugged her, because what do you say in this situations.

But she still couldn't and wouldn't talk to Sam. Somewhere in her mind, she was really thankful for that. She was an independent woman, and if she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't talk. Marlo, smartly had made herself scarce, avoided her, and for that she was thankful. Sam too, although she could see him hitching to say something.

By the end of the week, things hadn't really been better, in fact it had been worse with every passing day. She felt angrier and angrier. She felt stuck in a badly written soap opera whose showrunner had written the script while under the influence, and that somehow she was just a pawn on somebody's else hands. The more angry she felt the more agitated she was.

This week being on the cruiser with Andy McNally was a hazard at your life. All the punks, and criminal she arrested this week had gotten a taste of just how much aggravated she was.

She knew this was not the adult way of dealing with things, but she didn't care. Was she hurting Marlo with her indifference? she really, really didn't give a damn. And cry me a river Sam Swareck was just getting on her nerves by breathing. So she just isolated and she was feeling pretty well about it!

Until that night, a knock on her door, opened the gates to what would be the biggest fight Sam and Andy had.

When she opened the door, somehow she was not surprised to see him "What are you doing here?"

"I think we need to talk, don't you think?" he said entering her apartment. He looked around the living room, and it was clear to him, that Andy trying to cope. Take away cartons on her precious coffee table, were usually a no no.

"Talk. Talk about what exactly?" she arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms on her chest. Sam knew that she was ready for a fight.

"You know what." he said looking down and looking back at her. Stance that made him of a cat in defense mod. She was ready to attack and he knew it. He just hoped that he could tell her what he knew, she needed to hear now.

"Marlo's pregnancy, what else?" she said, and the clenched her jaw.

"Yeah" he looked at her, while she was pacing.

"She had another break down and the pregnancy is a lie. It's a sympathy pregnancy." She said with a sarcasm that he knew well. She usually used it in the interrogation room for a suspect.

"What? no!"

"The baby isn't yours."

"No…it's mine, Andy. You know that" He said sighing.

"Then I don't understand what is that we have to talk about!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, talking about stuff right now, means that you talk, trying to explain to me your reasons, Marlo's reasons, the innocence of the child in this screwed up situation, and that it is none's fault, and I have to nod lovingly, and accept whatever you say as the truth, and have absolutely no choice in doing anything else! It is what it and you have to live with it Andy! Isn't that the gist of it, Sam?" well damn, he thought.

Sam knew this was difficult to accept for her. Hell it's not like he was doing cartwheels either. But this, what happened, her shutting him out again, as she was doing right now, scared him more than anything else. He almost was afraid to ring the doorbell to find that she has packed things and went to another undercover mission. But he was not a stupid with a death wish. He would never tell her this out loud. Lord knows he had made terrible mistakes too. And he was sure bringing them up now was not the ideal thing to do if he wanted to live to see the child. So he tried. But how do you stop a train?

"I understand that it is difficult for you. It's difficult for me, but this is what is happening and I don't know what is it that you want me to do… I am not choosing between my child and you, Andy, I will not do that." He said firmly. He actually thought that this accusation would distract her from the loads of thoughts that he was sure, were torturing her. If he knew her at all, she was thinking college fund already. _How do you split it Sam, 50/50 between you and Marlo or can I buy the mattress too, without consulting you two!_ But he could see from her serious stance that it hadn't worked.

"Of course you won't. This is not an ultimatum. I would never ask you to choose between me and your child. Possibly, me better than anyone else knows the important of a father. Especially in this case. And you see my brain knows that. It knows that I can't be mad at you, you were in a relationship, sex is part of it, and I can't blame Marlo because she was so out of it, I don't really think she had any thought to either her meds or the pill, and I can't be mad at the baby, can't I? he or she has no fault. But when you say it's not your fault, is such a load of crap! Of course it's your fault. Guess what Sam, if weren't paying attention in class, sex has consequences, one of which is…. Guess what?... PREGNANCY! If you don't understand where I am coming from, how about I tell you a story! "

"Andy, please listen to me…"

"No, no. YOU listen here. You and Marlo break up for whatever reason, I break up with Nick, only, since I was in a relationship, and I was having sex.." there it is. What he made himself ignore. If he didn't think about it didn't happen. He could ignore it. And now she was throwing it in his face and he knew where this was going..

"I don't want to hear this…" he said walking away from her. But she wouldn't stop, and unrelenting she continued to make her point.

"AND I WAS HAVING SEX, I got pregnant with Nick's child. How would you feel? Would you be accepting? Angry, furious… which one Sam?" no, Sam couldn't imagine that happening. No, and the first thought would be denial, and anger, and he was ashamed of it, he would shut her out again. Possibly beat up Collins… who knows, he thought, but mad wouldn't even scratch the surface of this, he was sure. And somehow he understood where she was coming from. She just continued talking.

"The thing is, I really don't have a choice do I? I am in love with you, and I can't be without you, but this, I never wanted this! I don't want this. I am not happy about this, and it is selfish but I can't be happy for you! There are going to checkups that you'll go to, with her. She is going to give birth and it'll be you and her in the room. And it's fine and dandy for you. You'll be bursting for joy because I know you. You already love this child more than anything. But what are you going to do the first week. Sleep at her house. Or she sleeping at yours. And where am I supposed to be in the mean time? I'll tell you where. Outside looking in. And it's a terrible position to be in. I am not strong enough I can't do it. I don't know if I'll ever be OK with it! I don't know if I need time. I don't know anything. All that I know is that I am stuck. Accept it, or accept it. But I am not ready to accept it yet. I am not. So you do what you have to do, just like always. Don't worry Sam I am not going anywhere…" she had thrown all this at him, like and avalanche and he just stood there.

She said she wanted the details, something he knew she would obsess over. Where would she be? Hopefully right next to him, if the jeweler hurried up with the incision on Andy's ring. Taking a deep breathe he realized that exhausted Andy had sat on the sofa with her head on her hands. He made her way to the coffee table and sat down.

"Andy, please know that this isn't what I wanted. This wasn't the plan. I don't know what is going to happen. The details, I don't know, but you will never be outside looking in, I promise."

"Alright." She really wasn't believing him. She had said with such a small voice, barely audible but it was a stoic ok. So he thought it was time. Now or never. Either grew a pair or walk out. Hell she had said it to him in his truck for the first time. He could totally do it now, in the privacy of her apartment. He took her face with his hands, the near to him he could be without kissing, and looked into her eyes.

"I am in love with you, and nothing, nobody will ever change that. You do know that right?"

"No, no I don't know that." She answered with tears already washing her face. Puffy and all. She was beautiful.

"Then I will make sure that you do know that… came on let's go to bed, it's late."

"I think you should go home."

"And I think I am home right here, right now."

End.

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Review at your own risk… Lol

Madisondanes


	2. Chapter 2

Disclamair: I don't own RB.

A.N: somehow I decided that this will be a collection of one shots through scenes or s/l that I would have liked to see on the show. It might or might not follow canon. But more than likely from s4 on it will probably diverge. No promise on the updates, but as the muse strikes, I'll write and upload, with probably badly written English and grammatical error a mile long! Lol.

To anyone that think that Sam is a saint that walks on water and Andy is the devil incarnate, I say take a step back away from this fic! Like really, do it now! And I am talking to the "guest" that reviewed last. Was that you TC?

About this chapter it is post series. And it is darker, and so not fluff! And I feel like this is more realistically what might have happened in the months afterwards (Sam undercover again my flat behind, TC). It's angst and somehow Andy centric. Don't like it, again, take a step back and please go read other fluffy fics. There are a lot out there!

Again, as for all my other updates I shell find investable mistakes after the upload ( no matter how many times I check before Lol) and proceed to correct them.

Here goes nothing.

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When you chose the profession of being in law enforcement, things will happen. But why fate was picking on Andy McNally it was a mystery of epic proportion. Trouble always seemed to find her, one way or the other. She was on her way to the barn from a sleepless night, when she decided to make a stop to the drug store, as she was low on feminine hygiene products. Essentially all she wanted was to buy 2 boxes of tampons. How difficult could it be?

Of course it just so happens that while she was searching for her brand of choice two teenagers/egg heads decided that it would be a good idea to rob the store at gun point. Only that the owner had a gun himself, and there she was, in uniform, with 2 boxes of tampons on her left hand and the right near her gun.

In the end, after a LONG hour trying to defuse the situation, she called it in, arrested the two teenagers, and made her way back to the barn, without the tampons.

After that she decided, that since she was alone, today, she better go on patrol. What could happen right? No, because she stumbled on a drug exchange, and after calling it in again, and requesting back up this time, she found the guy. He was trying to steal another vehicle for his escape. Andy rolled her eyes, and called in the new position. Where the hell was back up?

So, to stop the guy, long story short, she got shot. She had the vest on, but it hurt like a bitch nonetheless. Back-up was late. By the end the guy was apprehended and her in a need of a pain killer and yet again a new vest.

Oliver had not been happy about it. He had requested that she went home and took some rest. Tomorrow she was not to show up at work. Offering to call Sam for he, she refused. She wouldn't want to get him away from Maya. And she was fine really, just a little sore. So she changed and said goodbye to Gail, and Tracey on the way out.

Not that she held any hope that going home would make her feel any better. But she did. She got into her car, and drove home. And as this new usual as of three nights ago, the driveway was empty. She sighed. She made her way to the door and went in. Turning the lights on, she found Boo Ridley waiting for at least one of his owners, and since Sam was not here, she would have to be enough.

She sat down on the couch, and the pooch, like always had curled himself on Andy's lap. She turned the machine on.

 _Hey, Andy it's me. Listen, Maya it's not getting any better. And Marlo needs her sleep, so I am going to spent another night… I know I haven't been there for you this last three days. I will make it up to you I swear! Anyway I love you, I'll see tomorrow morning._

She sighed again. This days it seemed all she could do was sigh. Sam had taken the days off for paternity leave. Yes, that's right. And he was spending his time at Marlo's home. Only now the nights also, because Maya had been suffering from horrendous colics. And since she was still breastfeeding, it made logical sense to Sam and Marlo that he spends the night, helping her out.

It was after all just for the time Maya got over her colics. Again it made sense he had told her. He had told her not to worry too, kissing her forehead, an act that she loved in the past, now she scowled at. She felt patronized.

She understood the demands of an infant and that is why the other day she suggested to Marlo and Sam, while Maya was calm in her arms, that they take care of the baby at their house, while Marlo recovered. She could pump the milk. Both had looked at her, and then had proceeded to shot down her suggestion like it was not her business. Never mind that she was the baby stepmother, and had taken care of Maya all by herself a few times in the past month. And God forbid Sam actually helped her make her point. But no, she was nothing. Nobody really. She had tried talking to Sam about it, but to no avail.

Hell, it was like she was a bad person because she wanted to have her own husband at home, and take care of Maya, when it was so obvious that Marlo was barely holding on. Hell, how could she suggest that Marlo takes some rest, and maybe all her meds while we are at it? She sighed again.

Boo just looked at her with those eyes. She was sure that she looked as pitiful as she felt.

She was in love with Sam and most importantly felt loved by Sam, and that was what he promised. That is why she had married him that incredible day. With the promise of a life together, she believed him. And she was actually looking forward having Maya with them. But "them" was a term that she wasn't included in. Laughing slightly, remembering a line from her favorite tv show growing up and of her favorite character, Luke Danes, somehow she didn't remember the minister declaring to her, husband, wife and Marlo.

And still, months after Maya's birth and 6 weeks of marriage, she was outside looking in.

The End.

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Review at your own risk

MadisonDanes


	3. Chapter 3

Disclamair: I don't own RB!

A/N: first thing in order. I am doing this A/N just once! I am not a tolerant person. If you leave rotten reviews, not about my writing, or maybe the points in the plot, or my grammar (or lack of it as it is in my case Lol) but on the sole purpose of hating on, bashing a character that you hate that happens to be the principle character in my fic, don't read it, don't leave a review, especially in guest mode. It's a useless, waste of your time, and a sign cowardice, because I cannot answer you back that way. and since I don't really have the patience to deal with it, I turned on the moderate guest review option that is in my settings. And with this I am done!

 **I also want to thank everyone who took the time to read and review in the past. It really surprised me. I am always hesitant uploading stuff. But you guys are great… so thanks** **.**

As usual, I am Italian, my grammar is not even near decent, I just hope I took care of possible mistakes. if not let me know in the reviews (or I will see them after the upload this as per usual! Lol).

I hope you guys like it …. Here goes nothing!

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There is a relaxing inducing factor in watching an infant fall asleep. It didn't hurt that she was totally enamored with the child. Onesie with green polka-dot, sprawled in the crib, sleeping, kinda snoring, without a care in the world. Objectively speaking Maya Swareck, was the best part of Marlo combined with the best part of Sam, but, she thought the resemblances ended there. Totally different personality for now.

It had been a week. She sighed. No child, should go through this. The world was difficult enough. And never mind her parents, but Andy would make sure that Maya would have to deal with her mother's condition, as little as she could manage to.

That night. She will always remember. The phone call in the middle of the night. A nightmare on its own, Andy came to understand. Then, Sam's panicked voice on the line. Marlo had closed herself in the bathroom with little Maya with her. He didn't know what to do. So she had assured him that she was on her way, and be near the bathroom door in case anything happened. Sam had agreed and then hung up. On her way out of the door, she had called the emergency number that Marlo's sister had left with Sam. Explaining the situation had been difficult since she wasn't there, but the sister told her that she would call her psychiatrist immediately. Then Andy called Gail at work. After explaining what was going on, she assured that she would be arriving soon.

It was the longest drive for Andy. A bad feeling gnawing at her. When she arrived Sam was sitting next to the bathroom door. He looked defeated. And terrified at the same time. Marlo in there was singing a tune that she didn't recognize, while Maya was crying her little heart out. It took everything in her trying to keep it together, but she was terrified herself. The pain forgotten anyway.

When Gail arrived seconds later, and Andy explained the situation and it was agreed that sudden moves like breaking down the door was not the ideal way to go.

Gail forced the lock, and Chris entered the bathroom with Sam in tow. Talking down Marlo had been easier that Andy had imagined. Sam took the baby at the first chance he got and made his way through the living room, just when an ambulance and Marlo's sister, made their way inside. From then on it was whirlwind of things that quite frankly she didn't care to remember. Marlo desperately yelling for Maya, like she had lost the baby forever. She didn't want to remember. What she doesn't remember is how she came to be holding the child while the pediatrician in the ER had looked her over just to make sure, while Sam had gone to explain to Marlo, as clear as possible, that she could see and be with the baby after she got better. That had not gone as well as Sam would have liked. She hadn't calmed down. They had to dose with a mild sedative.

An hour later, the verdict: post-partum depression. She had stopped taking the meds for the bipolar disorder, because they had made her sleepy, and unable to take care of the baby. And she had hidden the fact from Sam again. Andy could see that he was upset when he made his way to his wife and child. He was angry, with Marlo and himself. He just kept repeating that she had been right and how could he not see it.

Andy had been silent while cradling the already sleeping baby, letting him talk. She had another manic episode but this time it was worse. She was worse. She was so pale, talking under her breath, muttering something or other, and when asked about it by the doctor, she wouldn't answer him, like she hadn't heard him. She looked lost in a world that nobody had access to. Just looking lost.

When Sam was finished, she looked at her husband and then at the little angel in her arms.

"Sam, it's not your fault. She's fine. Maya is fine. Look at her, she's alright…"

"it could have been worse… I should have opened the damn door myself! I am her father and I was unable to protect her…"

"You did the right thing Sam. You remembered training. And you know what Marlo's doctor's said in case of an episode. You did good, letting Gail and Chris do their job! And here she is, Sam she's ok! And Marlo is going to be fine."

"I should have listened to you… but I was terrified…and i… I am sorry, Andy."

"so am I, because then it's my fault too. I should have insisted. But, this is nobody's fault, not yours, you are a good man and a good father, not Marlo's, she can't help it. She was under control a few weeks ago. She was fine… this things are not simple… you know how it works. You did good Sam" she then leaned her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her forehead, but this time it felt to Andy like it should. All the while Maya had not stirred. The doctor and Marlo's sister had come back. It was decided that Marlo would stay in the hospital, since now she was legally in the care of her sister, while Sam and Andy took care of Maya.

And the she was, a week later, the cutest baby girl she had ever seen, sleeping the night away while outside raged with rain, and what probably the forecast predicted to be snow. The house was colder when she woke up, she went to check the thermostat, and raise the temperature a little so Maya wouldn't be cold, and then made her way to the nursery to check on the baby. She was due for a feeding, but she was sleeping through it, it seemed maybe for the first time. So she stood over the crib just observing the rise and fall of Maya's chest, feeling a love inside that had never thought she would be capable of. And as she stood there she really couldn't understand what her own mother had done. But she rid her head of that thought.

She looked back in the crib without noticing Sam, in the doorway. Andy hadn't even heard him come in. she was enthralled with Maya. So was he, but he was partial to the child. She looked beautiful, Andy. Next lesson to be learned from what happened? Andy was a good judge when it came to people. She had understood him, forgiven him, although she kept insisting that there was nothing to forgive.

She had been understanding even when he hadn't been. Oliver had somehow let it slip what had happened to his wife on that that day. The fact that he wasn't there for her, it was like a knife twisting inside. She had been lucky, although another vest had been delivered by Oliver grumbling about the fact that maybe Andy should give up patrolling for a while. He had agreed. She had not, but in the face of a little infant, she took a week off when Sam would return to work. He then had breathed a sense of relief. He couldn't, wouldn't lose them. And as much as he admired Marlo and how strong she had been in the beginning, the scene that he was witnessing now made his heart swell with love and pride. If this was his life from now on, it was alright. Maya started to stir and she heard Andy whispering.

Leaning into the crib "ah there she is, open your little eyes for me" Andy smiled, and the chuckled "wow, Maya that was a big yawn, wasn't it…yes…"

" she sounds like me, doesn't she" Sam had decide to intervene now, or he would stay in the shadaw another hour before she would acknowledge him.

" Sam, you startled me. what are you doing awake, you have to go to work in three hours…"

" I didn't have my bed warmer with me, so I got cold"

"yeah, right" and the she picked up Maya "let's go have a snack, what do you say Maya?" and still talking to the child while making their way into the kitchen for the bottle "what are we going to do with daddy? He thinks he is funny!" Maya then gurgled smiling up at Andy "I know right?" Andy had jokingly answered all the while leaving Sam alone in the nursery.

He looked around the nursery thinking that he really was the one who was lucky, and then he smiled, sleep forgotten he made his down the stairs to his family "hey wait for me…".

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End

Review at your own risk….

Madisondanes


	4. Chapter 4

hello...

no unfortunately it's not an update, but just a brief message.

unfortunately i can't update this story for awhile. i am temporarily "homeless" due to the earthquake here in italy. i will update as soon as i can i promise, if you are stille interested! but it's going to be awhile.

madisondanes


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